Almost everyone that met Joan Didion said she was shy. She was quiet, inarticulate (her own admission), small, and fragile-looking; like a gust of wind would pick her up and blow her away.
She didn’t like being called shy - she told The Washington Post that she preferred reticent. She was reserved; she used few words.
Other people who interviewed her called her timid. She wasn’t very sociable (although she apparently threw great dinner parties) and found it difficult to express herself clearly when speaking. “A sentence doesn’t occur to me as a whole thing unless I’m working,” she once said. This confused people who met her for the first time, expecting a witty conversationalist. Instead, the page was where her words came alive.
It’s clear Joan was a natural introvert. Years ago when I discovered that my favourite journalist - one of the most prolific, accomplished, legendary writers in the world - was a fellow introvert, I breathed a sigh of relief.
For a brief period I had been trying (and failing) to mould myself into what I thought a journalist should be; someone confident, bold, extroverted, opinionated. But, this discovery made me realise that there is no ‘right’ personality for a journalist. You can be a quiet, shy person and still be fully capable of getting the story.
It certainly didn’t hold Joan back - she went to El Salvador to cover the civil war, interviewed the hippies of San Francisco, visited the Black Panther Huey Newton in jail, and went on the campaign trail - amongst many other things you wouldn’t typically expect an introvert to do.
So I began to embrace it, this aspect of my personality I had always tried to stamp out, something I always thought was holding me back. But was it? Being introverted can be used to our advantage - typically we are more observant and better listeners (because we’re not the ones doing the talking). People open up to us. They can also underestimate us. This is summed up in the below quote - one of my favourites - from Didion’s preface to Slouching Towards Bethlehem:
“My only advantage as a reporter is that I am so physically small, so temperamentally unobtrusive, and so neurotically inarticulate that people tend to forget that my presence runs counter to their best interests. And it always does.”
Journalism can also force us out of our comfort zone - for the better.
Recently I met a friend of a friend who, like me, was quite shy and had studied journalism at university, but who then became a web developer. He told me that studying journalism helped him to come out of his shell - he was made to speak to people he wouldn’t normally speak to, ask questions to strangers on the street, cold-call people. Although it made him uncomfortable at first, he said it had increased his confidence and benefitted him hugely. He was taught how to communicate with others, to be curious, and to be engaged with the world. Even though he’s not a journalist now, he said the degree helped him to become the person he is today.
I loved hearing this. It made me realise just how far I’ve come from being a painfully shy child/teenager (after giving a presentation in class, a teacher wrote on my report that I was “strangely tongue-tied” - which was brutal but accurate) to someone who doesn't think twice before introducing herself and asking questions.
Of course, I often feel nervous before a big interview or reporting trip (and still get tongue-tied), but when my journalist brain switches on, the curiosity cancels out the nerves; the desire for a story pushes me forward. The shyness melts away, but it is still there, simmering under my skin.
Joan Didion helped me understand that being shy can be a powerful tool - we can embrace it, conquer it, and it can help us become better journalists.
Reading
Joan Didion: The Last Interview and Other Conversations - If you’re a fan of Joan Didion I highly recommend this collection of interviews with her, which I’ve just finished. She’s often portrayed as being aloof and brusque, but these conversations show her in a different light; warm, sensitive, even giggly at times. They dissect her work and life, offering countless insights into the mind of the famous writer.
Rebelling against time in Cairo - A spellbinding essay by Amy Fallas, who writes movingly about longing, love, and the passage of time in the Egyptian capital.
To Istanbul, by train - This is a beautifully evocative travel piece in FT Magazine retracing the route of the Orient Express from Paris to Istanbul, 140 years after it’s debut. It captures the romance of long train journeys - but, like most journeys, there are a few hiccups along the way.
The Great Women Artists on Substack - I’ve been a fan of the art historian Katy Hessel for a while (she created The Great Women Artists on Instagram and wrote The Story of Art without Men) and her newsletter does not disappoint. It is a treasure trove of information on all things female art; from the best new exhibitions around the world, to new artists, and art documentary recommendations.
Why walking helps us think - Loved this old New Yorker piece which recently popped up on my timeline about the connection between walking, thinking, and writing, especially this quote from Henry David Thoreau:
“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live!”
Watching
Becoming Frida Kahlo - Defiant, passionate, fearless; these are just some of the words used to describe the Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo. This documentary series uses her own words, as recorded in her letters and diaries, along with archive images, to tell the story of her life. From a near-fatal bus accident aged 18, which changed her life forever, to her marriage to artist Diego Rivera, and her intriguing, taboo-breaking art.
Writing
How Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdogan could be brought down by country’s youth - In one month Turkey will go to the polls in what promises to be a close - and critical - election. Will President Recep Tayyip Erdogan be defeated after 20 years in power? I spoke to students, writers, and political scientists about their predictions and hopes, for the i Newspaper.
Young people in particular are desperate for change - soaring inflation, along with rampant corruption and the curtailing of human rights is causing widespread discontent. Several university students I spoke to said they would try to leave the country as soon as possible if Erdogan is re-elected, and said their friends are planning on doing the same.
Driss (not his real name), a 23-year-old graduate from Ankara, said the election has become “like a turning point for Turkey”.
“Many people think either we go back to our democratic and liberal values after the elections, or if AKP are elected again, we will slide into more authoritarian rule in the future.”